Three Years and Counting

Can you imagine how a woman  feel when her groom to be as her to marry her? It's heaven, right? When my man ask me to be his partner for the rest of his life my reaction was---- xoxo. That time I couldn't imagine myself to be a housewife. I must admit, I have a lot of fears. Fears that I may not do well in many aspect that my husband might not understand. 
  But to tell you, I didn't say no or yes. Neither of those words came out from my mouth. I was speechless.


Needless to say, I did have a so called "wedding blues". From the preparation to the day I vowed to God how much I wanted this guy to be with him for the re.st of my life, my mind is like a floating cotton.

 I don't exaggerate things. I am only reminiscing that day. It was May 1, 2009.

      The stuff that I have included here are actually my basis on preparing our invitations to the stuff we both like.  




The ring that both amaze us the first time we saw it.It was really gorgeous.

Now it is our third year anniversary. And we both feel like, we are dreaming. It was like, hey three years? Unbelievable! Yeah, that is how we felt yesterday.


     Love and discovery equals new life. We count and we move to the next level of our life---living together, run to each arm when we needed one another and always together for better or for worse.


                               

If I could change one thing...

Forgiveness, Repentance, Hatred, Jealousy, Arrogance, Selfishness. Too much to conquer isn't it? When I first learn that life is full of these personalities, I was too young to understand and to know how to deal with them. I was furious all the time when people described me like that. I was furious because I don't understand when I committed such behavior that will affect  the total being of me.


As I look back on the days I used to hear those words, I wanted to think of the people who caused me turned to be a bad guy. I tried to defend myself from it by behaving the proper  my parents taught me so. I did it. The right thing which people believe who was I. 


It was like two years passed and the feeling is still there. I don't want to blame that person for I know myself better than her. She kept on throwing me the same stone every time she felt like doing it. I reconsidered whatever action she took believing I can take care of every thing. But of course as human being just like her--- makes me feel bad which affects how I see things are.


I complained because she troubled me and that she is treating me like I was the  bad guy who caused her misfortune. Somehow, my solemnly adventures brought me to that person who never stop just to make me feel miserable. One day as I went through the mall nearby my work place, I met her and there she realizes that she couldn't take  off what she had started. She ran as fast as she could, I on the other hand remained calmed and proceeded to the place I am heading. 

Although I ignored her and continue to do the right thing, I felt the disappointment. A disappointment which I could have end there. One thing that I must change suppose to be was to let her undo the bad criticism she had accused me which of course people thought it was true. I may not did or caused the trouble yet some bad idea about me had been planted which I wanted to uproot it. 




I know I couldn't change anything anymore but I am hoping that one day I will change that one thing.  I am the victim here but she believe herself that she is my victim. What a funny and irritating experience.




 

Motherhood

Whenever I look upon the meaning of the word "Motherhood" there is always a challenge that appears to me. Somehow I must say my mother is right when she describe motherhood as a forever responsibility not only to your children but to the grandchildren you may have in the future.

Motherhood is a challenge that requires a never ending obligation to a new mom and to all the women in the world.
Somehow every thing is true. The day I have known about my pregnancy, is also the day I slowly discover my responsibility as a mother.




As I go through the phase of pregnancy, I also have to prepare myself from the more challenging task I must face. As I notice, motherhood is generally a full time job to any woman who decided to start to settle down. When I was younger and never expect whether I may be a mother or not I don't understand  everything my mother explains to me. I always disagree with her because becoming a mother is an ordinary job as what I thought.


Well now, I am woken up with the reality. Motherhood isn't just a dream neither an illusion yet it is reality which you have to dwell upon. When I look back to those days I was anxious with my mom I felt sorry and embarrassed by my selfishness. I felt sorry for my mom because I never gave myself a chance to understand her.

Before I gave birth last year I made sure to asked my mothers forgiveness. But you know what she said? Just remember what you told me when you were still young. I wanted to complain because of that but of course I fully understand the meaning of my mothers words.


Then, I became a mother and the first of it was a full alarming and overwhelming experience because I do not know where and how to start. Right there and then , I googled every thing for me to learn the steps I should take firstly on the proper nurturing of my newborn. Now it has been two months and fortunately very thing goes well. I am proud that I never start learning too late. What a motherhood I discovered for the right time.

The Year 2011

Time flies so fast that the year 2011 is almost on its ending. It came to this point where time had its limitations. To sum it up, 2011 is full of challenges. A challenge which makes me think of giving up and not to live a life I had planned and dreamed of. Then, I looked back and there I saw in the corner: a shining corner of new hope, The years that makes me live and the coming years that makes me dream again.

2011, is indeed a year of tears---- tears because I lost two of my relatives. Firs,t was my maternal grandfather, and now my Navy cousin. It happened at least twice; it was like a spice that hurts me badly. When life comes to its end, every thing around you became gloomy, but I have to be strong and brace myself with the truth--- none in this world is permanent.

Undesirable challenge which a definite unavoidable of human existence== partly because it is already our twins of survivability. It is funny isn't it? We complain but we never look up for a possible solution to solve the problem. we easily give up but we had never tried to stand again and face the reality of life. We have to accept the fact that life is full of surprises. Acceptance is a virtue.


Now that 2011 is about to end, what will be the coming year brings our life. A new challenge that will make our life miserable or a new challenge that will make us stronger and braver. I must say, I have had a lot this year. I had experienced being bothered, faced with circumstances and most of all, had a baby.

The fact that I am challenge with the idea of giving up my career and concentrate on taking care of my kid is actually a decision that made me teary I said, I can be a working mom. i can be like other mom who can still work outside their houses and still look after their kids. So, I have to stay home and let things go beyond my expectations.

Admittedly, I didn't expect this happen. Do I have any other choice? Indeed, I have. But I am doing this for my kid. A lot to complain but if you sit down and think f it, it will worth it. We do things for a reason such things happen for  a reason.

To sum up my 2011, it is not that very encouraging that's one of the reason there's another year to come.


Let then year of the dragon brings fire of success for the year 2012 and let us welcome it with a Joyful soul.

Goodbye 2011; welcome 2012.

Just As....

Friday evening....

Glen's family were packed to the beach for the long weekends. As the family were on their way to their destination, they were trapped with a long and terrible traffic which almost makes the group to back off.

Yet, they had planned for this out of town months and months ago, so heck with the traffic jam-- they had to continue with the said journey. As they were haggling with the traffic they decided to have a drive thru to whatever fast food they would pass along the way. They should have prepared food for the trip but because of the busy schedules that they've got, nobody got the time to think about it.

Few hours more on the road and the traffic had gone down. Back on the busy road. As every body's preoccupied with their businesses, Glen's younger sister notice strange thing. Without a second, she started screaming---- every was shocked and almost got them into accident. The driver then decided to park the car, asking what happened to her. Speechless..... they tried to calm her... as every one started to ask her what's the matter, an old lady in a white dress appears to every one. They are all startled..

Every body screamed....... Te family is deciding now whether to continue with the trip or just drive back home.

After few more seconds, Mr. Santiago decided to just move on. He said, lets go on with this..

Reaching Batangas after all the struggles they have gone through was a great pleasure for all of them. Everybody's tired and run to take some nap when the youngest sister of Glen started screaming again.

They couldn't explain why the old woman was there on their bed. It was more shocking because the old lady seems to be the family's intruder.

The father soon now, furious of all the strange things happen. Talk to the resort owner and requested for a new room. The owner obliged and Santiago's family were moved to the lower ground of the resort which is accessible to the beach, swimming pool and of course to the restaurant. Every thing seems settled. Ask for the old lady, she had forgotten the Santiago's family and left them in peace. This is an experience where Glen's family would never forget and the creepiest experience they ever had.

Poetry

Moonlight shines in the clear blue sky,

Reflecting the twinkling  stars in my eyes.

Gentle breeze floats through the air,

Sweeping through my curly hair.

Sweet music laps gently to my ears,

As my eyes glitter with my tears. 

Aye what a beautiful sight that is,

With my thoughts so lost in the mist.

I sit alone by the sea,

Enjoying the silence surrounding me.

Soon after I leave the place,

As the dark clouds fill up the space.

Then comes the pouring rain,

Reaching for the shelter is my aim.

Goodbye silence, goodbye fear,

To home I return that is so near.

The Time Is Almost Here

Waiting for nine months is really a long time. Who said pregnancy is easy for the first time mothers? I doubt when they say, it is very easy. Undergoing all the periods of pregnancy is quite an experience. Starting from the day you found out you are pregnant from the day you face with the challenges of morning sickness will actually make your day a mess.

When all of these challenges gone, upon entering my second trimester, I started feeling the kick of y little angel. My tummy had gone bulging as compared before. I started gaining weight which most people say, it is part of pregnancy. It is fun to look forward to the activities of the baby as the months pass by. There were times where I could literally feel its hiccup. Honestly, I savor all those experiences and as it grows inside me, I feel the fulfillment of womanhood.

As I enter my third trimester and continue to monitor the heartbeat of my little angel, the fun of waiting is overwhelming. I am now on my nine months and couldn't wait to see my baby.  I would experience a lot of changes and a lot of adjustments. At my age, I asked myself ones, will I make a wonderful mom for this kid? I hope I would. And I look forward on this challenge.

Poetry

Moonlight shines in the clear blue sky,

Reflecting the twinkling  stars in my eyes.

Gentle breeze flloats through the air,

Sweeping through my curly hair.

Sweet music laps gently to my ears,

As my eyes glitter with my tears. 

Aye what a beautiful sight that is,

With my thoughts so lost in the mist.

I sit alone by the sea,

Enjoying the silence surrounding me.

Soon after I leave the place,

As the dark clouds fill up the space.

Then comes the pouring rain,

Reaching for the shelter is my aim.

Goodbye silence, goodbye fear,

To home I return that is so near.

THE NATURE OF HUMAN BEING

Here comes the mind of a curios lad,

Filled with queries, answered with observations,

The lad keeps on seeking the,

The truth that lies behind a hindered imaginations.

Over a night of wondering,

Overwhelmed with each unending dream.

A dream that tortured his being,

To discover its fellow human being.

The study shows the difference of every thing,

Human to animal, things to human.

The nature of human being,

Is it quite interesting?

Humans’ knowledge is definitely incomparable,

To brighten this earth with adventures.

Stories had been told of humans’ importance,

Its sacrifices, its devoured bravery.

Like a hero, who fought during the war?

Humans fight for life, and its knowledge,

Grow as it learned more in this world.

Of human natures truthful endeavor.

To catch up with the reality of life,

Learned with the unlearned stuff to grow.

Be part of the growing nature,

Of his fellow human beings success.

I thought It’s Over

           

It has been several years since I last thought of the past predicament. A way from the truth and and beyond anyone’s expectations. Somehow, life had shown the best of what every body deserved. Moving on to the next leverage of life is what I aimed to achieve. It was a productive year. It is excessively far from what I had expected.

However, each time I try to close the door of the past—— it always knocks me out. However, at times, I don’t want to look back at it anymore. It just there and want me to remember who was I before and who am I now at the moment. It was like dreaming——- it can never be expected when it will appear again, then as soon as I had woken up, I realized it was a dream. Some times may ask and compare whether what I had just experience is a dream or a nightmare.

The idea of moving on is not that bad for. It is the best way I consider to be mature to whatever I ever wanted to achieve time after time. It was never easy to let go things that made you feel miserable. It was never a better way either to runaway from unresolved problem. I know there were times where I wanted to rotate the movement of the clock, however, it can never be.

It was fun reminiscing how stupid I reacted with all those thoughts, now that I sat down and thought of it again—— it wasn’t worth crying for. It wasn’t worth remembering either yet I was so-so much affected which I never realize life is full of surprises. As I continue to struggle with the truth I am aiming for; I step back and locked myself from the closet of anger. An anger that dictates my evil action. Lately, it came to me as a vision that I am losing the real I am. I am full of revenge where I had forgotten to humble myself from the fact that those things are meaningless.

Then upon realizing it, is not too late to back off. It made me feel irresponsible of my actions yet I believe I didn’t hurt  anyone. When I thought of it————- every thing is not over yet. Every thing remain in the middle of the wind ———hanging and left behind to the corner of forgiveness. Then, as I took a glass of coffee to our veranda the next day, the sun never gave the brightest sunlight which I waited for the whole night.

That time I was disappointed. The disappointment lead to somewhere. Then, I thought of it over and over again. There were no specific answer to all my queries that day yet still I waited. I waited a little more until I fully develop the virtue of waiting. Though admittedly, waiting is never a virtue. I dislike waiting because I want to do something as soon as I can. It is like before the lightning reaches the ground or even faster than that. It is very impossible isn’t it.

Another day had passed yet all of what I wanted to achieve never had the solution. Till, I decided to walked along the beach. I felt the early morning breeze. The touch of the of the early morning wave of ocean through the shore. Moreover, as the sunrise appears from the horizon, there was new hope that starts to build up. A hope that seemed to be the only way to make things over.

As I walked back my room that day, I started to write a composition, then from simple composition to a story. Before breakfast, almost reach the second part of the story yet every thing seemed to be unknown. I left my room and had a quick shower for I wanted to watch the native children happily swimming in the beach. As soon as I finished showering, I grabbed my sandwich and settle at the nearby nipa hut. A notebook in my lap and started typing the thoughts I have.

I didn’t notice the children as they approach my location. I only realized I was surrounded with local kids soon after they asked what was I doing. I saved the file, shut off my notebook, and decide to talk with the kids.

They seemed so happy. No worries, they have the wonderful smiles, which seem so envious for me. They tried to be friendly as I played the role  of being casual at times. I know they wouldn’t realize I am making face in front of them. It wasn’t really impressive to make face yet they are too ignorant and innocent of what adults do.

 Few minutes later, I bade goodbye to these children and went back to my room. I try to think of my childhood but it seems to be too very different form what I can see with the children. At their early age, they have their freedom compared to mine. My childhood had this moment where I have to be home all day and look after my siblings.

In short I never had a great childhood. So even now, I still feel the isolation of my past. I seldom mingle with others which people think I am weird. The thought of what happened to em before makes me feel incomplete. I thought it’s over yet still there. It reminds me and knocks on my door time after time.

The Lost Soul

As her days go by and by, she always say like this- can I just runaway and never come back?

Will you be there for me and catch up on me? Her man was shocked. He said, Why? Where do you want to go?

THEN, she said-nowhere. She always wanted to dare somebody- people who cared , loved her, she dump them for no reason.

Late in the afternoon of Saturday, I accidentally bump into her at 7-11, I said hi, but she didn't look up. I said, are you Trisha? Still she's speechless.

There and then, she looks different, I hid behind the corridor so I can observe her from a distance, it disappoints me knowing she's no longer the woman I once admired, cared and loved.

It pains me and make my suddenly yearns of the sweet and lovely woman. I couldn't believe she's gone- her

soul was no longer the woman who once makes me tremble and blush.

I rush to her when someone reaches her, trying to touch her, I am trying to rescue her from trouble, but she just said" let go of me" it's my life. You're nothing to me.

To my surprised, She even showed how she'd changed a lot. I felt on my knees. I cried and braced myself trying to remember, to ask where did I go wrong?

The answer were unsearchable. It's luring my existence. She had lost her life because of me? No way!

I didn't think she'll become something I couldn't imagine. I didn't cause her trouble it's her choice I murmured.

Then, from that day on, I moved on. I never got another chance to look back. I decided to forget someone who ones a special person to me. Her Soul is no longer part of her body which. She's nowhere to find. A lost soul which troubled every one.

Glimpse of Love

I look down the road of solitude. I didn't bother myself to look out, to watch out- then I stumble, the pit is

there, a halo path I shouldn't take. Then I pick up myself and again, I continue to carry along the sadness

and the loneliness of being alone.

I didn't notice the glistening light above me. I covered my face from shyness. I braced it- pacing it. TOUGH!

I said. I didn't realized it will be the beginning of my life's changes. How could I change myself? How could I

be like these people around me? Hey, someone called up, didn't bother myself to check who that is. I walk

fast, trying to run out of the crowd. There in a small space of the world I met him. Tired, but he tried to

catch up on me. He reach my hands and said, please bear a minute with me he beg, catching his breath.

I stepped back, pacing myself from him, readying to run. Hold back or else I'll probably hurt you I warn

him. He's too desperate. Try to reach my hands but failed. I started walking, but he follows me, he

continue to run after me. I hate you, I called out. I don't want to talk to you. Let go of me. Leave me

alone, firmly but my heart started to pound as hard as stone. I have a thousand dream to attain.

I turned around, I saw him, his piteous look, it pains me seeing him kneeling on the ground waiting for

me to run to him. I realized, I had loved him. Teardrops flowing on my cheeks. I can't hold on.

I rush back to him and there he waited for me.

With the glimpse of love I felt for him, it helps me with my whole being. He helps me to stand and move

on. He holds me tight-wrapping his hands around me, makes me feel secure, happy and glowed.

If only You were a Dream

Once I thought you weren't real,

I thought you were just in my dream.

Then, I roll back and forth,

You were there standing,

Your touch makes me realize,

You're true and alive.

Your look makes me tremble,

Your words almost makes me stumble.

I hold on to what I believe,

For I thought you were only a dream.

Avenging the Pain you Caused Me

We fought for others sake. I gave up every thing, sacrifices pieces of me, cause you asked me. You think it was that easy for me to understand and accept your nature.
I have to keep my dignity. I hold on till I was able to do it on my own. I COPE UP WITH THE DIFFICULTIES OF YOU BRAGGING ME TO DO IT and follow your ways.
Admittedly, I followed you unconsciously. I engaged myself from the pain of considering people first not my own being and be subdued with what you wish for. I gave up my freedom, my happiness for your happiness, just to stop us from fighting.
Days and days went by, you are too self-centered, you're too selfish and took away my own happiness. You never dare to  about my feelings, about my ideas.
Weeks and months had passed and yet are still irrational, your actions aren't worth to rely on. You started building the scar of distrust in my heart. You're making me feel stupid.
The scar is getting bigger and bigger, it is building up into nightmares. You're mad because I WOKE YOU FROM MY WEEPING AT THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
My life is going miserable if I will continue to allow you to manipulate me. Your concern is all yourself satisfaction. I started gathering all my senses and start believing your action dictates that I am nothing to you. You took me in bed not because you love me but you want to satisfy your  desire.
It was  shameful of me. It was shameful  for I had love you more than myself. Then one day, you'd pissed me off. You're flirting with women in front of me, blatantly. I started sounding sarcastic any time you spoke to me,it pisses you either.
You think you can get anything you want from them, I bet they'll dump you and I'll soon let you experience how to get dumped. You have caused me reason to avenge.
Though it tears me thinking of losing you, but if I continue, it feels like you'll soon dump me into the pit of solitude. I am making my way up again. It is my time to avenge you causes me.
It's my time to return the painful moments you had given me. I am still here. I still have strength to fight back. I was too weak to believe what my heart and instinct dictates. Later that day, when you found out I am leaving , you were on you knees, begging, weeping for me to stay, asking for another chance.
I hold back my tears for I am too afraid of showing you are what I wanted. There, you realized finally my presence means so much to you. My avenging wasn't there yet, but we'll see. We can still stay away from it starting today.

Adjustments

The dreams. The wishes. The plans. Have I fulfilled them? Getting married at the age of 26 is a little early, isn't it?

Thinking of it makes me nervous. It makes me think, will it worth all my effort at the end of it?

There are really times when you are almost at it, you have somewhat regretted of wanting someone be with you early as you wont be expecting.

When I asked some of friends who are married, " Here're their common answer, "We are having difficulties in adjusting but we are getting better at it." Being pregnant isn't easy also.Dealing with morning sickness, food cravings, physically and emotionally sensitive. It is actually the same as working with an office where you have no idea what to do at all.

Thanks for internet, we can get all the answer. We can just typed in questions that bother us, then the answer will be there in a minute or two. Isn't that technology too helpful and wonderful for the life of human being? Way back 1990's internet is not that familiar with youngster. It is not that easy to deal with new terminologies in order to understand its importance. I myself have had that phase, I used to asked my teachers to explain slowly the methods so I could follow properly. I am not saying, I am slow-witted, I am only making sure there will be no mistake to encounter when I am going to do the task. Up to now, every time I have new gadgets, I used to spend my time with a technician who has the ability to make me understand every step of using this gadget.

Some times I have to out grow those styles. In reality, Life is full of shit. Yet those shit makes we live our lives to the fullest that we can be. It is like throwing a ball. It always bounce back on the ground. Life is actually like that, but single life to married life is totally different. You both have to do a lot of adjustments-from small things to decision makings.

If before, sleeping in a small bed is very comfortable, now you have to  shift into bigger one. Let details explain both emotions. You have to deal with the changes which is actually every where inside the house-that's what we call married life. You learn to listen and you learn to adjust.

Jobless? What a Life....

There was a time where we don't have any control over the matters. Some times we fell from the dream we ought to achieve. In short we always mincing. We seldom settle things that bothers us every now and then. We tend to ignore things. We tend to avoid the consequences. We tend to leave things hanging instead of looking for the possible solution that will make life easier.

Often, we are coward in facing the truth. Some times we have to us ourselves; why those people stay longer in a certain job where we couldn't afford to be one? Being jobless doesn't mean you are not smart as those people who go to offices every day. Does that mean, when you leave your job, you are already nothing? In the beginning, what makes you  leave that job?

I have been roaming some neighborhood and often observe that most of those I see hanging around the corner doesn't go out every day and go to work.Of course, what I thought was, probably they work at night. Or they work at home. If they got internet connection, they don't have to go out and deal with car smoke everyday. If I were to ask, I prefer to work at home than commuting from home to work yet I don't have the choices than to go out every day.

As I continue to walk from my house to a nearby park, I barely see those people any more. May be, I relocate? Or may be they found better place than this stoney park. As I moved on to the next of the subdivision, I saw them. There they are. They are under a nipa hut. A hidden place for gossipers. Oh, I said, it is far away better than loitering around like a garbage on the street. Too bad, I thought they have had a better job yet they are wasting their time with other people.

I often compare myself from them. "Why these people look happier than I do? They don't seemed busy at all. They don't seem bothered at all. Then, I decided to make a little change of my lifestyle. I left my job which I believe- one of the most stressful I have ever had. I stayed home for at least a week. It was pretty relaxing. I can spend more time with my husband, talk about our future plans specially we would be parents in four months.

A couple of weeks later though, I started feeling edgy and bored. I started having mood swing that I already exceeded the conception stage. I couldn't stay long at home doing nothing.Then I realized, Doing household chores are not conducive to be the normal course of my life. See I can't really stand a day without thinking on how to be good at work. I couldn't stand a minute either to just spend my time longer in bed and read or watch TV or listen to music. I can't be one of those people who enjoy being jobless.

It is a definite truth when they say, You cannot stop someone with a strong urge of determination.

Life, Life,Life

How will you define life? How will you tell that it is complicated? What are the factors that will support  your ideas which will not affect others perception? In my own point of view, Life is what we make it better, more productive and mostly what we aimed to have whether today, in the past and also in the future.

To think of the what we can really do with our life; it is what we always hope for. A hope for better future and better.... better.. better and later for the best. Yet it always go with the challenges which we often ignore or we often consider it as our blocker. We keep on complaining without looking for the solution. We complain without looking back with our previous actions, complaining without taking other option to solve our problems.

It is always funny when we look back with the tears we shed, with the laughter we shared with our love ones and what most satisfying is- when we finally did our best to be who are we now. Somehow we always common desire -it is to be better than who we are before. Life is beautiful isn't it? Lets do the best that we can and enjoy it.

Thank You Sincerly

Thank You Sincerely

Thanks for the start to the lives that we’ve had.

Thanks for the nights that you went without rest.

So many memories, most happy, some sad;

If you weren’t perfect, you still passed the test,

Holding our hands, holding back all the fears.

Thank you sincerely for all of those years.

So many hours that you worked to provide

Multiplied by all the days that we grew,

When we behaved and the times we defied,

Never a doubt we could still count on you,

Making our laughter and drying our tears.

Thank you sincerely for all of those years.

Thanks for the rules that we wished were not there.

Thanks for the wisdom we sometimes denied.

All the attention and all of the care,

All the forgiveness and all of the pride,

Pointing out faults but then calling out cheers.

Thank you sincerely for all of those years.

For the examples you set every day,

Teaching with actions, those lessons hold tight.

We hardly knew just how much you could say

Simply by doing what you knew was right.

Now that we’re older, the logic appears.

Thank you sincerely for all of those years.

Thank you for love not required to be earned,

Not ever fading as time moves along.

You have to know that the love is returned,

Not always showing, but always so strong.

And you still care as your golden time nears.

Thank you sincerely for all of the years.

Then I found You...

One day I was on my way home from work. It was tiring and hot day. I want to dip myself in a frigid bath. I hurriedly took the Jeep ride from work to my house.

There I notice you. You notice me yet You didn't say any word . I thought it will be a good idea to ignore you but I can't take my eyes off of you.

Reaching out for my phone I pretended to contact someone but I ended asking for your number. You obediently gave it to me. Not knowing how to react on how it went right, I maybe a nut but it 's hot so I didn't think straight.

As I got off from the Jeep. I leap on my excitement. An excitement which almost ruined my plans. I kicked myself out from the heat of the sun and run to the bathroom. Reaching for my towel as I dry myself, I remember to phone you. I feel fresh. Then, I dialed your number. It rang but someone had been holding it-- maybe. Someone answered the phone yet it was woman. I collapsed on my knees and almost knock out on my flower vase.

Without realizing who that woman is, panicked rise up on me. I started making presumptions, probably you were married yet you willingly gave your contact. That was a surprising act. The dumbness thing I have ever done. Regrets rush up to me yet it's over.

Later that day, you sent me text message and everything strengthened up. The woman was a girl of yours but you are interested to me. Funny. We became friends from that day on and reveal each others secrets. You brightens my dull days at work. You lighten up the burden I am carrying alone.Every thing goes smoothly.

Until one day I found out you were not really in love with your girl. Shock was the first thing I had yet deeply excited.

Later, you were parted and our affair had started. I found you then, the day I rode my way home for a shower.

The time has Come

I waited, I was wasted. I was disappointed, I was hurt. I was down and was dump. Until one day I survived. I stand again. I became stronger. I became more mature and immune to heartaches. I became wiser.

Till then, I said, I am going to be somebody. Someone who fights for her right. Someone who knows more than what she knew before. A minute later, the clock of my body struck down. it was a sign. It is a sign for me to move, move and move. I knew I can't. But I knew it I will pass this.

I started to stretched out my legs slowly. Slowly till I was able to get my feet on the ground again. At first, it wasn't easy to balance myself. It wasn't easy to walk and start moving forward. Then, I realized, I forgot to gain my strength. I forgot, I have to do something. Something I have waited for so long. Later, my legs stop shaking. My foot start moving forward, forward, forward.

I reach the place. The place seemed new. The place seemed strange. I look around and there I found my name. It was painted in an aqua-blue ink -my favorite color. The letters twinkled slowly, as the man appears on it. A smile that made me frown and a wide open hand that I ignored. I passed by the hallway and found my stuff at the end corner.

Neatly arranged. I don't remember when was the last time I have been in this place. I don't recall where I have been. then, the guy stood near me and said "Welcome back." Out of nowhere I never thought of him, I never had a glance of him. So i asked, where I have been? Why only now? I asked a lot of whys? But he never said one thing.

I stared at him and try to meet his eyes. he looks so gloomy. I frowned till we get closer and there I found myself embracing him. He hugged me back and whispered "the time has come." Welcome to my world baby.