Forgiveness, Repentance, Hatred, Jealousy, Arrogance, Selfishness. Too much to conquer isn't it? When I first learn that life is full of these personalities, I was too young to understand and to know how to deal with them. I was furious all the time when people described me like that. I was furious because I don't understand when I committed such behavior that will affect the total being of me.
As I look back on the days I used to hear those words, I wanted to think of the people who caused me turned to be a bad guy. I tried to defend myself from it by behaving the proper my parents taught me so. I did it. The right thing which people believe who was I.
It was like two years passed and the feeling is still there. I don't want to blame that person for I know myself better than her. She kept on throwing me the same stone every time she felt like doing it. I reconsidered whatever action she took believing I can take care of every thing. But of course as human being just like her--- makes me feel bad which affects how I see things are.
I complained because she troubled me and that she is treating me like I was the bad guy who caused her misfortune. Somehow, my solemnly adventures brought me to that person who never stop just to make me feel miserable. One day as I went through the mall nearby my work place, I met her and there she realizes that she couldn't take off what she had started. She ran as fast as she could, I on the other hand remained calmed and proceeded to the place I am heading.
Although I ignored her and continue to do the right thing, I felt the disappointment. A disappointment which I could have end there. One thing that I must change suppose to be was to let her undo the bad criticism she had accused me which of course people thought it was true. I may not did or caused the trouble yet some bad idea about me had been planted which I wanted to uproot it.
I know I couldn't change anything anymore but I am hoping that one day I will change that one thing. I am the victim here but she believe herself that she is my victim. What a funny and irritating experience.
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