Three Years and Counting

Can you imagine how a woman  feel when her groom to be as her to marry her? It's heaven, right? When my man ask me to be his partner for the rest of his life my reaction was---- xoxo. That time I couldn't imagine myself to be a housewife. I must admit, I have a lot of fears. Fears that I may not do well in many aspect that my husband might not understand. 
  But to tell you, I didn't say no or yes. Neither of those words came out from my mouth. I was speechless.


Needless to say, I did have a so called "wedding blues". From the preparation to the day I vowed to God how much I wanted this guy to be with him for the re.st of my life, my mind is like a floating cotton.

 I don't exaggerate things. I am only reminiscing that day. It was May 1, 2009.

      The stuff that I have included here are actually my basis on preparing our invitations to the stuff we both like.  




The ring that both amaze us the first time we saw it.It was really gorgeous.

Now it is our third year anniversary. And we both feel like, we are dreaming. It was like, hey three years? Unbelievable! Yeah, that is how we felt yesterday.


     Love and discovery equals new life. We count and we move to the next level of our life---living together, run to each arm when we needed one another and always together for better or for worse.


                               

If I could change one thing...

Forgiveness, Repentance, Hatred, Jealousy, Arrogance, Selfishness. Too much to conquer isn't it? When I first learn that life is full of these personalities, I was too young to understand and to know how to deal with them. I was furious all the time when people described me like that. I was furious because I don't understand when I committed such behavior that will affect  the total being of me.


As I look back on the days I used to hear those words, I wanted to think of the people who caused me turned to be a bad guy. I tried to defend myself from it by behaving the proper  my parents taught me so. I did it. The right thing which people believe who was I. 


It was like two years passed and the feeling is still there. I don't want to blame that person for I know myself better than her. She kept on throwing me the same stone every time she felt like doing it. I reconsidered whatever action she took believing I can take care of every thing. But of course as human being just like her--- makes me feel bad which affects how I see things are.


I complained because she troubled me and that she is treating me like I was the  bad guy who caused her misfortune. Somehow, my solemnly adventures brought me to that person who never stop just to make me feel miserable. One day as I went through the mall nearby my work place, I met her and there she realizes that she couldn't take  off what she had started. She ran as fast as she could, I on the other hand remained calmed and proceeded to the place I am heading. 

Although I ignored her and continue to do the right thing, I felt the disappointment. A disappointment which I could have end there. One thing that I must change suppose to be was to let her undo the bad criticism she had accused me which of course people thought it was true. I may not did or caused the trouble yet some bad idea about me had been planted which I wanted to uproot it. 




I know I couldn't change anything anymore but I am hoping that one day I will change that one thing.  I am the victim here but she believe herself that she is my victim. What a funny and irritating experience.




 

Motherhood

Whenever I look upon the meaning of the word "Motherhood" there is always a challenge that appears to me. Somehow I must say my mother is right when she describe motherhood as a forever responsibility not only to your children but to the grandchildren you may have in the future.

Motherhood is a challenge that requires a never ending obligation to a new mom and to all the women in the world.
Somehow every thing is true. The day I have known about my pregnancy, is also the day I slowly discover my responsibility as a mother.




As I go through the phase of pregnancy, I also have to prepare myself from the more challenging task I must face. As I notice, motherhood is generally a full time job to any woman who decided to start to settle down. When I was younger and never expect whether I may be a mother or not I don't understand  everything my mother explains to me. I always disagree with her because becoming a mother is an ordinary job as what I thought.


Well now, I am woken up with the reality. Motherhood isn't just a dream neither an illusion yet it is reality which you have to dwell upon. When I look back to those days I was anxious with my mom I felt sorry and embarrassed by my selfishness. I felt sorry for my mom because I never gave myself a chance to understand her.

Before I gave birth last year I made sure to asked my mothers forgiveness. But you know what she said? Just remember what you told me when you were still young. I wanted to complain because of that but of course I fully understand the meaning of my mothers words.


Then, I became a mother and the first of it was a full alarming and overwhelming experience because I do not know where and how to start. Right there and then , I googled every thing for me to learn the steps I should take firstly on the proper nurturing of my newborn. Now it has been two months and fortunately very thing goes well. I am proud that I never start learning too late. What a motherhood I discovered for the right time.

The Year 2011

Time flies so fast that the year 2011 is almost on its ending. It came to this point where time had its limitations. To sum it up, 2011 is full of challenges. A challenge which makes me think of giving up and not to live a life I had planned and dreamed of. Then, I looked back and there I saw in the corner: a shining corner of new hope, The years that makes me live and the coming years that makes me dream again.

2011, is indeed a year of tears---- tears because I lost two of my relatives. Firs,t was my maternal grandfather, and now my Navy cousin. It happened at least twice; it was like a spice that hurts me badly. When life comes to its end, every thing around you became gloomy, but I have to be strong and brace myself with the truth--- none in this world is permanent.

Undesirable challenge which a definite unavoidable of human existence== partly because it is already our twins of survivability. It is funny isn't it? We complain but we never look up for a possible solution to solve the problem. we easily give up but we had never tried to stand again and face the reality of life. We have to accept the fact that life is full of surprises. Acceptance is a virtue.


Now that 2011 is about to end, what will be the coming year brings our life. A new challenge that will make our life miserable or a new challenge that will make us stronger and braver. I must say, I have had a lot this year. I had experienced being bothered, faced with circumstances and most of all, had a baby.

The fact that I am challenge with the idea of giving up my career and concentrate on taking care of my kid is actually a decision that made me teary I said, I can be a working mom. i can be like other mom who can still work outside their houses and still look after their kids. So, I have to stay home and let things go beyond my expectations.

Admittedly, I didn't expect this happen. Do I have any other choice? Indeed, I have. But I am doing this for my kid. A lot to complain but if you sit down and think f it, it will worth it. We do things for a reason such things happen for  a reason.

To sum up my 2011, it is not that very encouraging that's one of the reason there's another year to come.


Let then year of the dragon brings fire of success for the year 2012 and let us welcome it with a Joyful soul.

Goodbye 2011; welcome 2012.

Just As....

Friday evening....

Glen's family were packed to the beach for the long weekends. As the family were on their way to their destination, they were trapped with a long and terrible traffic which almost makes the group to back off.

Yet, they had planned for this out of town months and months ago, so heck with the traffic jam-- they had to continue with the said journey. As they were haggling with the traffic they decided to have a drive thru to whatever fast food they would pass along the way. They should have prepared food for the trip but because of the busy schedules that they've got, nobody got the time to think about it.

Few hours more on the road and the traffic had gone down. Back on the busy road. As every body's preoccupied with their businesses, Glen's younger sister notice strange thing. Without a second, she started screaming---- every was shocked and almost got them into accident. The driver then decided to park the car, asking what happened to her. Speechless..... they tried to calm her... as every one started to ask her what's the matter, an old lady in a white dress appears to every one. They are all startled..

Every body screamed....... Te family is deciding now whether to continue with the trip or just drive back home.

After few more seconds, Mr. Santiago decided to just move on. He said, lets go on with this..

Reaching Batangas after all the struggles they have gone through was a great pleasure for all of them. Everybody's tired and run to take some nap when the youngest sister of Glen started screaming again.

They couldn't explain why the old woman was there on their bed. It was more shocking because the old lady seems to be the family's intruder.

The father soon now, furious of all the strange things happen. Talk to the resort owner and requested for a new room. The owner obliged and Santiago's family were moved to the lower ground of the resort which is accessible to the beach, swimming pool and of course to the restaurant. Every thing seems settled. Ask for the old lady, she had forgotten the Santiago's family and left them in peace. This is an experience where Glen's family would never forget and the creepiest experience they ever had.

Poetry

Moonlight shines in the clear blue sky,

Reflecting the twinkling  stars in my eyes.

Gentle breeze floats through the air,

Sweeping through my curly hair.

Sweet music laps gently to my ears,

As my eyes glitter with my tears. 

Aye what a beautiful sight that is,

With my thoughts so lost in the mist.

I sit alone by the sea,

Enjoying the silence surrounding me.

Soon after I leave the place,

As the dark clouds fill up the space.

Then comes the pouring rain,

Reaching for the shelter is my aim.

Goodbye silence, goodbye fear,

To home I return that is so near.

The Time Is Almost Here

Waiting for nine months is really a long time. Who said pregnancy is easy for the first time mothers? I doubt when they say, it is very easy. Undergoing all the periods of pregnancy is quite an experience. Starting from the day you found out you are pregnant from the day you face with the challenges of morning sickness will actually make your day a mess.

When all of these challenges gone, upon entering my second trimester, I started feeling the kick of y little angel. My tummy had gone bulging as compared before. I started gaining weight which most people say, it is part of pregnancy. It is fun to look forward to the activities of the baby as the months pass by. There were times where I could literally feel its hiccup. Honestly, I savor all those experiences and as it grows inside me, I feel the fulfillment of womanhood.

As I enter my third trimester and continue to monitor the heartbeat of my little angel, the fun of waiting is overwhelming. I am now on my nine months and couldn't wait to see my baby.  I would experience a lot of changes and a lot of adjustments. At my age, I asked myself ones, will I make a wonderful mom for this kid? I hope I would. And I look forward on this challenge.