Can you imagine how a woman feel when her groom to be as her to marry her? It's heaven, right? When my man ask me to be his partner for the rest of his life my reaction was---- xoxo. That time I couldn't imagine myself to be a housewife. I must admit, I have a lot of fears. Fears that I may not do well in many aspect that my husband might not understand.
But to tell you, I didn't say no or yes. Neither of those words came out from my mouth. I was speechless.
Needless to say, I did have a so called "wedding blues". From the preparation to the day I vowed to God how much I wanted this guy to be with him for the re.st of my life, my mind is like a floating cotton.
I don't exaggerate things. I am only reminiscing that day. It was May 1, 2009.
The stuff that I have included here are actually my basis on preparing our invitations to the stuff we both like.
The ring that both amaze us the first time we saw it.It was really gorgeous.
Now it is our third year anniversary. And we both feel like, we are dreaming. It was like, hey three years? Unbelievable! Yeah, that is how we felt yesterday.
Love and discovery equals new life. We count and we move to the next level of our life---living together, run to each arm when we needed one another and always together for better or for worse.
Forgiveness, Repentance, Hatred, Jealousy, Arrogance, Selfishness. Too much to conquer isn't it? When I first learn that life is full of these personalities, I was too young to understand and to know how to deal with them. I was furious all the time when people described me like that. I was furious because I don't understand when I committed such behavior that will affect the total being of me.
As I look back on the days I used to hear those words, I wanted to think of the people who caused me turned to be a bad guy. I tried to defend myself from it by behaving the proper my parents taught me so. I did it. The right thing which people believe who was I.
It was like two years passed and the feeling is still there. I don't want to blame that person for I know myself better than her. She kept on throwing me the same stone every time she felt like doing it. I reconsidered whatever action she took believing I can take care of every thing. But of course as human being just like her--- makes me feel bad which affects how I see things are.
I complained because she troubled me and that she is treating me like I was the bad guy who caused her misfortune. Somehow, my solemnly adventures brought me to that person who never stop just to make me feel miserable. One day as I went through the mall nearby my work place, I met her and there she realizes that she couldn't take off what she had started. She ran as fast as she could, I on the other hand remained calmed and proceeded to the place I am heading.
Although I ignored her and continue to do the right thing, I felt the disappointment. A disappointment which I could have end there. One thing that I must change suppose to be was to let her undo the bad criticism she had accused me which of course people thought it was true. I may not did or caused the trouble yet some bad idea about me had been planted which I wanted to uproot it.
I know I couldn't change anything anymore but I am hoping that one day I will change that one thing. I am the victim here but she believe herself that she is my victim. What a funny and irritating experience.
Whenever I look upon the meaning of the word "Motherhood" there is always a challenge that appears to me. Somehow I must say my mother is right when she describe motherhood as a forever responsibility not only to your children but to the grandchildren you may have in the future.
Motherhood is a challenge that requires a never ending obligation to a new mom and to all the women in the world.
Somehow every thing is true. The day I have known about my pregnancy, is also the day I slowly discover my responsibility as a mother.
As I go through the phase of pregnancy, I also have to prepare myself from the more challenging task I must face. As I notice, motherhood is generally a full time job to any woman who decided to start to settle down. When I was younger and never expect whether I may be a mother or not I don't understand everything my mother explains to me. I always disagree with her because becoming a mother is an ordinary job as what I thought.
Well now, I am woken up with the reality. Motherhood isn't just a dream neither an illusion yet it is reality which you have to dwell upon. When I look back to those days I was anxious with my mom I felt sorry and embarrassed by my selfishness. I felt sorry for my mom because I never gave myself a chance to understand her.
Before I gave birth last year I made sure to asked my mothers forgiveness. But you know what she said? Just remember what you told me when you were still young. I wanted to complain because of that but of course I fully understand the meaning of my mothers words.
Then, I became a mother and the first of it was a full alarming and overwhelming experience because I do not know where and how to start. Right there and then , I googled every thing for me to learn the steps I should take firstly on the proper nurturing of my newborn. Now it has been two months and fortunately very thing goes well. I am proud that I never start learning too late. What a motherhood I discovered for the right time.
Now it is our third year anniversary. And we both feel like, we are dreaming. It was like, hey three years? Unbelievable! Yeah, that is how we felt yesterday. 