Forgiveness, Repentance, Hatred, Jealousy, Arrogance, Selfishness. Too much to conquer isn't it? When I first learn that life is full of these personalities, I was too young to understand and to know how to deal with them. I was furious all the time when people described me like that. I was furious because I don't understand when I committed such behavior that will affect the total being of me.
As I look back on the days I used to hear those words, I wanted to think of the people who caused me turned to be a bad guy. I tried to defend myself from it by behaving the proper my parents taught me so. I did it. The right thing which people believe who was I.
It was like two years passed and the feeling is still there. I don't want to blame that person for I know myself better than her. She kept on throwing me the same stone every time she felt like doing it. I reconsidered whatever action she took believing I can take care of every thing. But of course as human being just like her--- makes me feel bad which affects how I see things are.
I complained because she troubled me and that she is treating me like I was the bad guy who caused her misfortune. Somehow, my solemnly adventures brought me to that person who never stop just to make me feel miserable. One day as I went through the mall nearby my work place, I met her and there she realizes that she couldn't take off what she had started. She ran as fast as she could, I on the other hand remained calmed and proceeded to the place I am heading.
Although I ignored her and continue to do the right thing, I felt the disappointment. A disappointment which I could have end there. One thing that I must change suppose to be was to let her undo the bad criticism she had accused me which of course people thought it was true. I may not did or caused the trouble yet some bad idea about me had been planted which I wanted to uproot it.
I know I couldn't change anything anymore but I am hoping that one day I will change that one thing. I am the victim here but she believe herself that she is my victim. What a funny and irritating experience.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Motherhood
Whenever I look upon the meaning of the word "Motherhood" there is always a challenge that appears to me. Somehow I must say my mother is right when she describe motherhood as a forever responsibility not only to your children but to the grandchildren you may have in the future.
Motherhood is a challenge that requires a never ending obligation to a new mom and to all the women in the world.
Somehow every thing is true. The day I have known about my pregnancy, is also the day I slowly discover my responsibility as a mother.
As I go through the phase of pregnancy, I also have to prepare myself from the more challenging task I must face. As I notice, motherhood is generally a full time job to any woman who decided to start to settle down. When I was younger and never expect whether I may be a mother or not I don't understand everything my mother explains to me. I always disagree with her because becoming a mother is an ordinary job as what I thought.
Well now, I am woken up with the reality. Motherhood isn't just a dream neither an illusion yet it is reality which you have to dwell upon. When I look back to those days I was anxious with my mom I felt sorry and embarrassed by my selfishness. I felt sorry for my mom because I never gave myself a chance to understand her.
Before I gave birth last year I made sure to asked my mothers forgiveness. But you know what she said? Just remember what you told me when you were still young. I wanted to complain because of that but of course I fully understand the meaning of my mothers words.
Then, I became a mother and the first of it was a full alarming and overwhelming experience because I do not know where and how to start. Right there and then , I googled every thing for me to learn the steps I should take firstly on the proper nurturing of my newborn. Now it has been two months and fortunately very thing goes well. I am proud that I never start learning too late. What a motherhood I discovered for the right time.
Motherhood is a challenge that requires a never ending obligation to a new mom and to all the women in the world.
Somehow every thing is true. The day I have known about my pregnancy, is also the day I slowly discover my responsibility as a mother.
As I go through the phase of pregnancy, I also have to prepare myself from the more challenging task I must face. As I notice, motherhood is generally a full time job to any woman who decided to start to settle down. When I was younger and never expect whether I may be a mother or not I don't understand everything my mother explains to me. I always disagree with her because becoming a mother is an ordinary job as what I thought.
Well now, I am woken up with the reality. Motherhood isn't just a dream neither an illusion yet it is reality which you have to dwell upon. When I look back to those days I was anxious with my mom I felt sorry and embarrassed by my selfishness. I felt sorry for my mom because I never gave myself a chance to understand her.
Before I gave birth last year I made sure to asked my mothers forgiveness. But you know what she said? Just remember what you told me when you were still young. I wanted to complain because of that but of course I fully understand the meaning of my mothers words.
Then, I became a mother and the first of it was a full alarming and overwhelming experience because I do not know where and how to start. Right there and then , I googled every thing for me to learn the steps I should take firstly on the proper nurturing of my newborn. Now it has been two months and fortunately very thing goes well. I am proud that I never start learning too late. What a motherhood I discovered for the right time.
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